Ruby, this statement is very detrimental to your welbeing. You are capable of being happy. It may take time, or effort, or intensive self-care. The list is endless but you can be happy. I used to think like you. But now I emphatically believe it starts with believing happiness can happen.

I don't mean to preach but you have the ability. You can choose what you do with it. I'd so like to see you enjoy happiness.