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Oh, Be Still, My Racing Heart
Today is the perfect day to shine.
I don’t know when it happened. I suspect it wasn’t a mere moment. Perhaps, when I went from extrovert to introvert, it happened over time. Gone are the days I stood as a clown in front of groups of children with ease, delighting kids and adults alike. They were some of the best days of my life before social anxiety crept in, keeping me often stuck close to home. Until this past weekend, when immersing myself among children, I found myself incredibly alive.
The anxiety began the night before the party. All week, excitement drove my emotions as I planned to attend my grandson’s first birthday party on Saturday. My kids invited thirty-plus people of all ages. A mixture of friends and family of few I didn’t know. There was nothing to fear, but unfortunately, social anxiety undermines best intentions. Yet, there was nothing that would stop me from attending. Worry or not, nothing could stand in my way.
I had a long drive to reach my destination. Avoiding highways didn’t help. As I turned the ignition with time to spare, I felt my heart racing. “I can do this!” I told myself. “I am capable!” Putting the car into drive, I headed to the nearest Tim Hortons, and then, with a cheese croissant and coffee in hand, I headed north with a gasp. Could I keep my uneasiness at bay? How long was this…
