I haven't read all of the other comments so I may be repeating others, but I believe your baby is sensing your tension and it may be making his behaviour worse. You are in a very difficult situation and your mental health decline is not your fault. This being said, you have a responsibility to yourself and your children to get help. See if you can share with other moms so while you may have their child to contend with for a short period of time, you will have also have time for yourself when you are childless. I went through a very brief time where I felt a detachment from my infant and it was frightening. My heart goes out to you. Don't give up, help is out there you just need to pursue all avenues to find it.